celebrity deathmatch gundam style
by gundamboy
Summary: this is the effect of pepsi and 8 big macs.
1. Default Chapter Title

Celebrity Deathmatch: Gundam wing style!  
By Gundamboy  
  
  
Gundamboy: Welcome to Celebrity deathmatch. I'm your host Gundamboy, and with me tonight is Zechs "The lighting count" Marquise!  
Zechs: hey everyone!   
Gundamboy: Now our special guest announcer tonight is Stone Cold Steve Austin!  
Stone Cold: Hey!  
Gundamboy: Our fights tonight are Relena Peacecraft vs. Brittany Spears.  
Second is Heero Yuy vs. Leonardo Dicacprio.   
Then it's Treize vs. anyone! Yes. ANYONE!  
Zechs: uh, why IS Relena fighting anyways?  
Gundamboy: You will find out soon. Go ahead stone cold.  
Stone Cold: well about 5 days ago Relena and Heero were at a party and Brittany tried to put the moves on Heero, and of course Relena got pissed off. *Tape rolls*  
Relena: I'll be back in a minute Heero.  
Heero:"....."  
Brittney: Hi Heero.  
Heero: uh, hi.  
Brittney: *whispers something into Heero's ear and his eyes widen*  
Heero: uh, I don't know about it, I'll have to ask Relena.  
Brittney: Lose the bitch Heero.  
Relena: I heard that! I'm gonna kick your ass!  
*Tape ends*  
Stone cold: and there you have it. Two women who wanna tear each other apart.  
Gundamboy: ooooh the possibilities.  
Zechs: oh well. Here come our fighters now!  
Duo: in this corner, weighing an whopping 99 pounds, Relena Peacecraft, and in this corner, weighing 100 pounds, Brittney spears!  
Okay I want a good clean fight, now lets get it on! * does famous elbow drop done by mills lane *  
*Quatre rings bell.*  
  
Relena: I'm gonna kill you. * does famous Heero Yuy glare o death *  
Brittney: eat fist! * slugs Relena in the stomach which continues for about five minuets *  
Relena: must-try-to-go-on.  
Brittney: Ha-ha! Heero's mine!  
Heero: Come on Relena! Kick her ASS! Please Relena dearest.  
Relena; Yes Heero. OMAE O KORSU, BITCH! * jumps up and open up a can o whoopass on Brittney, which goes on for about 20 minuets. *  
Relena: hiyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaa!* foot goes through Brittney's face and out the back of her head. *  
Duo: the winner!  
Gundamboy: ouch.  
Zechs: YYYYYEEEEEESSSSSSS!  
STONE COLD: Tylenol won't cure that headache.  
Gundamboy: well lets go backstage and see how our fighters in our next fight feel. And for that we go to , Wu fei!  
Wu fei: You announce like a WOMAN! Heero, do you think you will destroy Leonardo Dicaprio.   
Heero: Mission Accepted.  
Relena: Heero, could you help me out of this jumpsuit.  
Heero: in a minute. Gotta go.  
Wu fei: Leonardo is a WEAKLING, AND I DO NOT INTERVIEW WEAKLINGS! Back to you Gundamboy.  
Gundamboy: okay.  
Zechs: I TOLD YOU!  
Gundamboy: bite me.   
Stone Cold: We'll be right back.   
Deathmatch commercial sequence plays.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
FLAMES WILL BE USED TO BURN THE AUTHORS OF FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!  



	2. Default Chapter Title

Celebrity Deathmatch: round 2  
By Gundamboy  
  
  
Gundamboy: Welcome back to Celebrity deathmatch.   
Zechs: if your just tuning in. in our first fight, Relena obliterated Brittney Spears.  
Gundamboy: our next fight is Heero Yuy vs. Leonardo Dicacprio.   
Zechs: For once I'm rooting For Heero!  
Gundamboy: same here.  
Stone Cold: hell yeah! here comes our next fight now.  
Duo: in this corner, weighing an whopping 105 pounds, Heero yuy, and in this corner, weighing 101 pounds, Leonardo Dicacprio.  
Okay I want a good clean fight, lets get it on!   
*Quatre rings bell again .*  
  
Heero: omae o korsu.  
Leo: huh?  
Heero lifts fists up and does about five skull-crackers to him (a.n go Heero!)  
Leo: aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! * runs around the ring Heero pursues *  
Heero: * falls down from exuastion * man this guy has the stamina of a humming bird!  
Gundamboy: what the? Did David just slay goliath?  
Leo: * climbs turnbuckle * I'm the king of the world!!!!!!!!  
Heero: * gets up and runs over to Leo*  
Gundamboy: Heero gonna storm the king's castle!  
Heero: * knocks Leo off of the turnbuckle* Hey king of the world, prepare to be dethroned!* begins bashing Leo's face into turnbuckle *  
Heero: * whips out gun * is this allowed?  
Duo: I'll allow it!  
Heero: Omae o Korsu!* unloads a few clips into Leo*  
Duo: the winner!  
Gundamboy: Heero! Heero! Heero!  
Zechs: Yeah Baby!  
Stone Cold: oh my god, Heero killed Leonardo!   
Gundamboy: and he ain't no bastard! Wu fei! Check on Heero!  
Wu fei: You still announce like a WOMAN! Heero,you just destroyed Leonardo Dicaprio, what are you going to do now?   
Heero: sleep with Relena.   
Relena: Heero, come here.  
Heero: yes honey.  
Wu fei: Uhhhhh, back to you Gundamboy.  
Zechs: nnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!  
Gundamboy: GO HEERO!!!!   
Zechs: must-save-sister!   
Gundamboy: no,Zechs Remmber the promise you made Noin?  
Zechs: damn!  
Stone Cold: We'll be right back.   
Deathmatch commercial sequence plays.   



	3. Default Chapter Title

Celebrity Deathmatch   
By Gundamboy  
  
  
Gundamboy: Welcome to Celebrity deathmatch.   
Zechs: this is the 1,000,000,000,000,000th episode   
Gundamboy: and to kick it off we're kill em them off!  
Zechs: yeah! Lady Une vs. bill Clinton, Heero vs. Ken Starr, then a gundam free for all as the pilots take on Nsync.   
Gundamboy: here comes our first fight now.  
Duo: In this corner, Weighing 109 pounds, Lady Une, and in this corner, weighing a hefty 159 pounds, Bill Clinton.  
Lets get it on!  
*Quatre rings bell. *  
Bill: hey there hot stuff!  
Une: stuff this! * Bags him* (A.N that's for me!)  
Bill: * writhers in pain*  
Une: * does a field goal kick and Bill's head comes off*  
Duo: the winner.  
Zechs: * Comes back with an armload of snacks* what the hell?  
Gundamboy: that was short. Now what our we going to kill time with now?  
Zombie Leo: man, my head hurts. What smells like rotten meat?  
Gundamboy: Oh shit.  
Zechs: what?  
Gundamboy: he still alive, But not for long!* jumps down and reaches into his patented Heero Yuy hammerspace shorts, and pulls out a shotgun.* eat lead  
Zombie Leo: huh?  
Gundamboy blows Zombie Leo away with his patented die zombie FREAK move, which consists of shooting zombie and laughing at it die.  
Zechs: we'll be right back.  
Deathmatch commercial sequence plays  
  
  



	4. Default Chapter Title

Celebrity Deathmatch round 2   
By Gundamboy  
  
  
Gundamboy: Welcome back to Celebrity Duo Deathmatch   
Zechs: if you just tuned in, lady Une killed Bill Clinton  
Gundamboy: yep.   
Zechs: now it's Heero vs. Ken Starr   
Gundamboy: here comes the bloodshed .  
Duo: In this corner, Weighing 105 pounds, Heero Yuy, and in this corner, weighing a hefty 159 pounds, Ken Starr.  
Lets get it on!  
*Quatre rings bell. *  
ken: hey this isn't legal!  
Heero: shut up already.  
ken: no  
Heero: okay.  
ken: huh?  
Heero: * whips out mini beam cannon* Omae o Korsu.  
Ken: oh no. AHHHHHHHHHHHH!* dies in beam blast*  
Duo: the winner.  
Gundamboy: cool.  
Zechs: that was better.  
Gundamboy: I'll do this just for lark. Hey Wuffie, check with the pilots.  
A VERY PISSED Wu fei: I will get justice! Maxwell told you to do it didn't he? Why that...* hits camera and storms off*  
Gundamboy: should I warn Duo?  
Zechs: NO!  
Gundamboy: we'll be right back.  
Deathmatch commercial sequence plays   
  



	5. Default Chapter Title

Celebrity Deathmatch episode 2- round 3   
By Gundamboy  
  
  
Gundamboy: Welcome back to Celebrity deathmatch.   
Zechs: if you just tuned in, lady Une killed Bill Clinton  
Gundamboy: yep.   
Zechs: then it was Heero vs. Ken Starr   
Gundamboy: now it's the pilots vs Nsync  
Duo: Ready  
Heero: Mission Accepted.  
Wu fei: JUSTICE!  
Trowa: "....."  
Quatre: I really don't know about this.  
Heero: Shut up already!  
Stone cold: Lets get it on!  
*Zechs rings bell. *  
(a.n. I had to research the band members names, forgive me.)  
Duo: * searches frantically* where's the beer?  
Justin: what does this button do?  
Heero:* smiles evilly* press it.  
Justin: okay. * Presses self-destruct button* it's so pretty....  
BOOM!  
JC: OH MY GOD THEY KILLED JUSTIN!  
Hanson: we'll save you guys!  
Gundamboy: Shit! C'mon Zechs, lets go  
Duo: They're combining!  
Trowa: looks like Independence Day.  
* ID4 theme plays as Zechs appears in Epyon, Gundamboy flies out in Wing Gundam in bird mode*  
Gundamboy: sorry I'm late Heero.  
Heero: Gundamboy, you armed?  
Gundamboy: armed and packing, you may just want to cover me from those robot ships.  
Zechs: gentlemen, lets plow the road.  
* Heavyarms, Zero, Sandrock, Shenlong, Deathscythe-hell, and Epyon  
all start to kick some ass!*  
  
* Wing Gundam transforms to robot mode*  
Gundamboy: target lock, eagle 1, fox 3, crap! It's jammed!  
Firing beam cannon.  
Treize: Hello boys, I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack!* in tallgeese 2*  
Gundamboy: In the words of my generation, UP YOURS!!!!!!!!!!!  
* Fires Beam Cannon, wiping out any trace of N'sync or Hanson*  
Treize: He did it! The son of a bitch did it!  
Gundam pilots and crowd cheer wildly when Wing Gundam appears  
Gundamboy: that's it for Celebrity deathmatch, I'm Gundamboy  
Zechs: I'm Zechs.  
Gundamboy: Good Fight, good night!  
Special vidfic part  
  
Shows all Gundam pilots, Zechs, Treize, and Gundamboy around a campfire. Everyone is paired up with his or her respected partner.  
Zechs + Noin, Heero + Relena, Wu Fei + Sally, Quatre + Rachel  
Gundamboy + Catherine, Trowa + Ruby (a.n. I'm running out of names here. I just made some up!) Treize + Lady Une.  
Gundamboy: * playing guitar* We are the champions, my friends..  
Everyone: and we'll keep on fighting till the end. We are the champions,  
We are the champions, no time for losers for we are the champions of the world!  
* screen goes black as Queen is heard in the background playing the rest of " We are the champions". Credits roll.  
The End  
  
Thank you for all your support.  
I will keep you all in my thoughts and hopes.  
I will try to write more of this series, so don't give up on me.  
I would like to thank everyone including a very pissed fan.  
* everyone who has been in the fic series that is still alive*  
thank you!  
- Gundamboy  
In loving memory to the little guy-  
I told you to leave my little sister alone!  
  
  



	6. Default Chapter Title

Celebrity Deathmatch: round 3  
By Gundamboy  
  
  
Gundamboy: Welcome back to Celebrity deathmatch.   
Zechs: if you're just tuning in, in our first fight, Relena obliterated Brittney Spears.  
Gundamboy: in our second fight Heero destroyed Leonardo Dicacprio.   
Zechs: now Treize is up against anyone in our audience.   
Gundamboy: here comes Treize!  
Stone Cold: I never did like Treize.   
Duo: in this corner, weighing a whopping 120 pounds, Treize!  
Okay I want a good clean fight, lets get it on! * does famous elbow drop done by mills lane *  
*Quatre rings bell.*  
  
Treize: First victim ,err fighter.  
Person: alright, Mr. Treize  
Treize: Dorothy?  
Dorothy: prepare to die! * Jumps into ring *  
Treize: lets go! * Runs at Dorothy *   
Dorothy: * climbs turnbuckle * eat elbow  
Treize: * moves as Dorothy flys at him, Dorothy splatters against the ring* HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! I'M INVINCIBLE!   
STONE COLD: *NO YOUR NOT!   
Treize: bring it on! * The next 15 minuets is taken up by STONE COLD  
Kicking Treize's ass *  
STONE COLD: Alright, if you want me to stomp Treize's ass into the ground, gimme a hell yeah!  
Crowd: HELL YEAH!  
Stone cold stomps Treize to pieces.  
Duo: the winner!  
Gundamboy: And Treize is outta there!   
Zechs: I HATED TREIZE ALL MY LIFE!  
Gundamboy: Cool..  
Zechs: I TOLD YOU! He would lose!  
Gundamboy: I told him to drop dead and go to HELL! That's all for tonight folks.  
I'm Gundamboy, that's Zechs. Good fight, goodnight.   
Deathmatch end sequence plays.  
  
  
The next series will include:  
  
Lady Une vs. Bill Clinton  
Heero vs. Kenneth Starr  
The Gundam pilots vs. Nsync  
  
This will be written too  
  
And FLAMES WILL SIGN YOUR DEATHWISH!!!!!!  
Thank you.  



	7. Default Chapter Title

Gundamboy is back! And I've got a Deathmatch Songfic for ya! Themed off of "Mambo #5", this keeps the deathmatch mayhem alive. - Gundamboy.  
  
Deathmatch #5  
  
1,2,3,4,5  
  
Dead bodies on the floor so c'mon and ride  
  
to the Deathmach fight  
  
the boys said the want blood and beer  
  
but I really wanna   
  
See Heero kill some more   
  
I must dig deep  
  
Bettin aint cheap  
  
I like Treize, Zechs, Trowa And Heero!  
  
I hope quatre-chan Shows up in zero  
  
So what can I do  
  
I really thank you Gundamboy  
  
To me, killing funny  
  
Anything goes  
  
It's all good  
  
Let me sing in the   
  
The next round  
  
A little bit Heero in my life  
  
A little bit Duo by my side  
  
A little bit Trowa is all I need  
  
A little bit of Quatre what I see  
  
A little bit of Wufei in the sun  
  
A little bit of of Zechsy all night long  
  
A little bit Gundamboy Here I am  
  
A little bit blood makes me oh man!  
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooh  
Deathmatch # 5  
  
Jump up and down   
  
And doge all around  
  
Chug down the pop  
  
Put the beer on the ground  
  
Take one hit high  
  
Throw one low  
  
A kick to the front   
  
And one to the side  
  
They clap their hands once   
  
They clap em twice  
  
And if they're cheerin for ya your doin it right  
  
A little bit Heero in my life  
  
A little bit Duo by my side  
  
A little bit Trowa all I need  
  
A little bit of Quatre what I see  
  
A little bit of Wufei in the sun  
  
A little bit of of Zechsy all night long  
  
A little bit Gundamboy Here I am  
  
A little bit blood makes me oh man!  
  
A little bit Heero in my life  
  
A little bit Duo by my side  
  
A little bit Trowa all I need  
  
A little bit of Quatre what I see  
  
A little bit of Wufei in the sun  
  
A little bit of of Zechsy all night long  
  
A little bit Gundamboy Here I am  
  
A little bit blood makes me oh man!  
You are really gonna die so commit suicide!  
You are gonna to fly  
  
Deathmatch number five  
  
  
That's it. I will return. Mwhahahaha!  
  
Hint: Quatre gets what coming to him  



	8. Default Chapter Title

Not so long ago in a galaxy pretty darn close,  
  
  
Celebrity Deathmatch  
The Special Edition  
  
  
Announcer: Please stand for our national anthem.  
*Star spangled banner plays for a bit*  
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! * Fireworks*  
Gundamboy: Oh hell yeah! Welcome to another episode of Celebrity deathmatch!  
I'm your host Gundamboy, and my co-host for this evening is The Rock!  
Crowd: ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY!  
Rock: Whasup?  
Gundamboy: Our fights tonight are Goku Son vs. Quatre Winner, Heero Yuy vs. Ash Catchem, Zechs Marquise vs. Bruce Willis, Treize Kushrenada vs. Bob Dole and a cool half-time show.  
Heero: Gundamboy, come here. You've got to see this.  
* Gundamboy hops down from the announcement booth and walk over to a trailer looking thingy. *  
  
Heero: read the side.  
  
Gundamboy: Design by Heero built by LittleWashu.  
Heero: * pulls off sheet revealing the words ARMORY ROOM *  
Gundamboy: What the HELL?  
Heero: Shall I do the honors?  
Gundamboy: Go ahead.  
HeeroChaos: * presses button on small remote doors expand to show a REALLY BIG  
Room *  
Gundamboy: * stands stunned *  
Heero: Cool isn't it?  
Gundamboy: This place is so BIG! * Big echoes though out the whole place* Who built it?  
Washu: I did.  
Gundamboy: * Jumps* HOLY! Good job.  
Washu: Thanks.  
Gundamboy: * back in the announcement booth* So with the addition of an.. WHAT THE HELL?!?!  
Duo: * with his shirt over his head* I AM CORNHOLIO! I NEED TP FOR MY *WHAP* OW!  
Heero: Sorry.  
Gundamboy: HEERO YUY! YOU KNOW BETTER! That is not the way to hit a gundam pilot!  
Heero: huh?  
Gundamboy: Watch this.* picks up Duo, Then bags him and knees him in the nuts*  
Duo: BALLS, BALLS, BALLS, BALLS, BALLS, BALLS!  
Heero: Ouch.  
The Great One( the Rock): we'll Return.  
  
  



	9. Default Chapter Title

Not so long ago in a galaxy pretty darn close,  
  
  
Celebrity Deathmatch  
The Special Edition  
  
  
  
  
Gundamboy: WELCOME BACK TO CD! Our first fight is Goku Son vs. Quatre Winner.  
The Rock: And Here comes the Jabronies now.  
  
Wu Fei: In the Blue corner, don't mess with this guy, GOKU!   
And in the red corner, The BIGGEST WEAKLING IN THIS UNIVERSE, Quatre!  
I want a good clean fight, now lets get it on!  
  
Goku: Hey am I on TV?  
Quatre: Can't we just talk this over tea?  
Goku: will there be snacks?  
Quatre: yeah.  
Goku: Hey are you Quatre?  
Quatre: yeah.  
Goku: REALLY?  
Quatre: yeah.  
Goku: *hits Quatre* Then Forfeit.  
Quatre: * jumps into Sandrock* Sorry.  
Next Fifteen minuets is taken up by Quatre and Goku Fighting Firecly.  
Goku: * goes SUPER SAYIAN!!!!!* Kaaaaaaameeeeeeehaaaaameeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!  
Quatre:AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
Gundamboy: Another Bites the dust!  
Heero: ahem!  
The Rock: The Smacketh Down was laid.  
Gundamboy: Hey Relena, Check in with your brother, Zechs.  
Relena: *on Libra* Hey Zechs, How do you feel about your fight against Bruce Willis?  
Zechs: I have already one because I am totally prepared for this fight.  
Relena: sure you are. Back to you Gundamboy.  
Gundamboy: there You Have it. The testimony From the Crowd favorite in our next Fight.  
Heero:Hey Gundamboy.  
Gundamboy: What?  
Heero: What do you call Nuts on a wall?  
GundamBoy: What?  
Heero: Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest?  
Gundamboy: Chestnuts.  
Heero: Good.What do you call nuts on your chin?  
Gundamboy: Chinnuts.  
Heero: Wrong. A dick in your mouth. What do you call nuts on your forehead?  
Gundamboy: What?  
Heero: a 69.  
Gundamboy and Heero: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!!!!  
Gundamboy: We'll return from these Messages from our sponsors.   



	10. Default Chapter Title

Wassup?  
Treize: so wassup gundamboy?  
Gundamboy: watching the game having a bud.  
Zechs: wasssup?  
Gundamboy: WASSUP?  
Treize: yo, where's Duo?  
Duo: yo.  
Treize: WASSUP?  
Duo: WASSUP?  
Gundamboy: WASSUP?  
Zechs: WASSUP?  
Heero: * walks around corner, eyes are 16 times larger than Quatre's with really small pupils. He has something in his hand. * WASSUP?  
Treize: WASSUP?  
Duo: WASSUP?  
Gundamboy: WASSUP?  
Zechs: WASSUP?  
ALL: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?  
*PHONE RINGS*  
Gundamboy: hello?  
Relena & Dorothy: wasssup?  
Treize: WASSUP?  
Duo: WASSUP?  
Gundamboy: WASSUUP?  
Zechs: WASSUUP?  
Heero: WASSUUP?  
ALL: UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?  
  
EPILOGUE:  
Heero was caught in Treize's secret drug stash.  
Relena kicked Treize's rear for owning it.  
  
Quatre: you left me out!  
Gundamboy: shut up mother f^&(*#@#@ son of a #@$%#@#%@#!  
Trowa:"......."  



End file.
